Poem I have written, your thoughts? - mound & blade serial
Brands O'er mountain decor monstrous
Titanic wrought iron from ore mixed
Wheeling stood amid the applause of catastrophic
Fiery break overload host weakened
Wail of the amnesty, and waved a flag of repentance, prayer,
If foolishly believed that without a disability.
Leering jaws and terrible scars plenty Hill
Turbulence in the dust of the rotation of the phalanx
Tonnage hollow in the wake of the noise of machinery,
Groaning and belching heavy sulfur.
With a cry determination fragile Assaulted:
"While we have always lived in the residence wealthy
Our spear and shield, striped;
Never remove the blade against the father and son.
By far, it is real estate!
Unfortunately, the white dog, the blood
Mass immediately behind the once-proud, imposing wall
Now crumbled malice zeal and claw.
With the triumphant cry of the crowd was later
To set the mother and child in the mangled heap.
No medium term, no two ways interconnected.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Mound & Blade Serial Poem I Have Written, Your Thoughts?
6 comments:
The first two lines say in forged iron is not high art
I do not know what disaster may be caused by applause.
What is the search for a variety of amnesty? This "host" (Letterman? Fetterman?) Are you not tired, slavery?
Someone grimaces with his mouth
Powder Blush is the army? Perhaps Hooker's Army?
Why do these people regurgitate tanks, I feel
The following line indicates that the nose is to the people with the dust of the army, and vomiting at the sight of artillery, the epitome of the industrial age! Huh?
Incarnate technology, which has attacked in any way, will help to move on and stop living Stop fighting against Christianity, hell, not again darken the doors of science. HUF ??????????
The HounDS Christians? Fascism? It is a metaphor for what? A proud people with high walls suggests dogs are ACADEMIA. Increase kill ignorant and uneducated Universities (very true) to the humanistic side of Christianity (for the military apparently)
So, what we get, "The technology is too boring, because it is a prostitute, Christianity loses its humanity and the Academy is to provide a training ground for the fans."
if it is not at all what it means, I'll eat my hat!
The cacophony of war is also represented by the spate of harsh words.
It took a few readings, but I have it.
Some well-wrought line:
"Standing catastrophic before the applause Wheeling";
"Now, he broke the wickedness of the zeal and claw"
But o'er please, no more than his "and never". "In" and "never" are actually better here. Read the lines aloud. That's what I meant by "queer old.
Well, here's a challenge: is not able to recognize what is unusual in my last offer!
Oooops his woaw!
I love the word! strong and Mwah!
Then the last sentence of the last stanza of "not so that no two paths are connected to each other"
Certainly, he has lost hope for the sick!
I feel the pain as the flow of poetry and contests.
Thank you for the poem.
int puttting could help put a smile on my face! though!
What a fantastic and beautiful poem as a book can not be more enticing items that grieve you write your poems ... i enjoyed.Your written, as they have become my fave writer now, "and I guess the best and Edger Allen Poe .. you a book like some people here who write" not as big as you should. not even close to .!!!!
He has a good feel for them.
I do not want all my thoughts, as this will take some time, but still, I liked it and it should continue to write poetry like this.
Hiram What I would love to tell him where to go, but I'm too nice.
Great! Great!
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